I'll admit it. Now in my 40's, I've become disillusioned. After all the emotional trauma which is youth, and young love, and rejection, and all the years of hard work in life in general, I feel empty, or at least I WAS feeling empty. But during the last 3 1/2 years, here in Florida, drawing people for a living, and having a little more TIME in my weeks, I've loosened-up a bit, and have recovered some lost sensitivity in my soul, so to speak, I think.
I'm thinking of women, of all things. What horrible creatures, I sometimes muse. What is their worth? They've given me nothing but heartache, and, more recently, nuisance. They can't drive. They're physically inferior, in a brute sort of way. They promise soul and body, and give neither. ...But I still appreciate the physical beauty. And, for their souls? What the ...? Give me a beautiful painting, or a fine meal, but not the soul of a woman.
But, now, I've remembered something. You see, I met a young lady recently. Well, she's too young for me (in her low twenties), but she's not too young for some of you. She'll remain nameless here, but some of you know her, here in Orlando. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, she reawakened my RESPECT for women. This had been gravely challenged in my mind.
No, really. Just when I thought I couldn't be more disillusioned, I came across a young woman who floored me with her sweetness, kindness, creativity, and potential. Wow, I thought. Wow, I remember this. I remember respecting women, and desiring them for their souls, in addition to their bodies. I remember, now, the desire to wed and have children, not because it was a genetic impulse, but because I worshiped a particular girl, and wept at her feet, without restraint. Women can do that, if they aren't so hell-bent in becoming like men, aggressive, selfish, and, well, you know we men suck. I remember worshiping a girl or two, long ago, and now I remember why. I respect; I long; I fully realize I'll never be a better human than my lady, and my heart aches, and breaks.
And I find that I am rejuvenated by this recovered knowledge.