How do I explain this? I do not know. I am a portrait artist who can no longer do portraits. ...
My goodness...
Why does suffering need to be a part of artistry? Why difficulty? I know not. I only know that, fundamentally, my portraits are all wrong, despite the courtesy of clients and man, despite the successful garnering of meager acclaim. It's all wrong. Something is wrong.
In fact, recently, I had a portrait rejection. My first. How can this be? ... Well, it BE because, some time ago, my heart left the effort... left the effort of portraiture TO MY POCKETBOOK.
If you only do something for money, it quickly becomes mediocre, or never arises from mediocrity, to begin any possible path toward greatness.
Aah, the perils of the starving artist.
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