Horror Show

Well, it's Halloween season, and the celebration of horror. I don't quite understand this, considering all the REAL horror in the world; it seems a holiday for a bored and safe culture. And I'm having my own horror holiday, in a way. You see, something terrible happened in my private life recently (which I shan't mention exactly since it involves another person) PLUS my planned vacation/NCN Convention for this first week of October was destroyed by "unexpected" expenses in September, and by the unexpected cost of the convention. I had looked forward to this for a year, sometimes so so so impatient, so happy by the prospect, sweet anticipation! But the $245 (190 entrance fee and 55 membership renewal) I'm required to pay is, at this point, prohibitive. I got through September okay (it's our slowest month) but the IRS and other entities are sending scary letters and I'm sending them more and more money, and it's all quite embarrassing. I just want to sail away. The NCN Convention is occuring NOW approximately TWO MILES from my apartment, and I can't get in. Yes, I'm in tears. Fellow artists from all over THE WORLD have come here, people I've met online, who share a common love and talent, and I'm prohibited from meeting them. Horror show. I just want to sail away.